crazy stuff

So tomorrow is New Years Eve, and I haven't blogged in a while. Nothing new about that. =-)

But I wanted to share this website that I found tonight. My best friend is a photographer, and she showed me this photographer in Florida that she has been inspired from. Well anyways... I went on her blog, and she had a link to this Professional Retouching studio that retouches photos of Hollywood stars. Click Here to go to the website, and then click Portfolio. It's rather disturbing what they can do to people. Kelly Clarkson was my favorite. Crazy stuff I say... crazy stuff.

oh yeah...

If you look to the right of the page, you will see the ornament exchange that I signed up for.
Well...
Today I ordered my ornament from etsy to be sent to my exchange buddy.

I hope she likes it! I always try to get things that I would like if I were that person... and not knowing this person... well let's just say it was hard to decide.
But I'm really happy with what she's getting. =-)

I'll post pictures after I know that she's received it.

We shall see what she thinks!

And her name is Tara and this is her blog. Check it out!

the magic of oatmeal

The other night I went to walmart... Sidebar: I hate that place by the way. The prices are better than most grocery stores, but it's always so crowded and I leave there feeling tired and cranky. But they do usually have the most options for your basic stuff. While I was there I saw oatmeal. Now I haven't had oatmeal in years. We hardly ever ate it as kids. (I think my mom doesn't like it.) But when I lived in New Zealand, we ate it all the time. And I remember liking it a lot there. So when I saw it the other night, I had to get some. Plus it was cold and rainy outside and it made me want it even more. In New Zealand we would get plain oatmeal and flavor to taste, but seeing that the majority of my apartment is in boxes, I have no idea where those "flavors" would be. So I got the variety pack to see which ones I liked. So for the past several mornings, I've been enjoying a nice bowl of oatmeal. Strange how we get on kicks where we want certain foods huh? In New Zealand we would get plain oatmeal and flavor to taste, but seeing that the majority of my apartment is in boxes, I have no idea where those "flavors" would be. What's your breakfast of choice these days?

ps... I also got the pumkin spice flavored kind. I generally love most things pumpkin, but this stuff not so much. So if anyone wants some pumkin oatmeal to try let me know!
~cheers

Christmas in Texas?!?!?!

So tonight I was talking with a friend, and we were talking about me making the decision to come back after Thanksgiving or stay in Texas and come back after Christmas. This is something I've been praying about/thinking through a lot lately. And I keep going back and forth on it. Why am I so indecisive? I hate making decisions about things. I'm always the last to order in a restaurant, and don't ask me what I think about something because generally I have to analyze it to give you a good answer. Sometimes it's not that bad, but most of the time... yeah, it's that bad.

I leave for Texas in a week and a half, so this is something I need to decide soon. I'm just afraid of missing a job opportunity or something. Plus my friend told me that she thinks if I go, I won't want to come back... and I don't see that happening... but could she be right?!?!?! Oh so many things to consider.

Last week at church we were given this to consider when making a major (or minor) decision.
"What would someone in my position do, if they were completely confident that God was with them?"
This question has stuck with me all week. What would someone do if they were confident that God was with them? Why am I not confident that God is with me? Sometimes it's easy to see the "right" thing to do... but what about when things could go either way?
Oh why do I have to be so indecisive?!?!?!

Thanks for listening to my thought process. Please pray that God gives me direction the first part of this week. Yeah... That would be great!

craziness

Life gets crazy sometimes, and sometimes it's not crazy enough.

The past few days have been full of fun times with friends, catching up with "old" friends, going to new places, dinner and games with friends that I hadn't seen in a while, etc.
I had fully planned on this past weekend being rather chill, but it wasn't that way at all.

BUT... it made me thankful for my friends and so glad that God wants me here rather than in Texas.

Church Sunday morning was amazing and we were asked this question...
"What would someone in my situation do if they were absolutely confident that God was with them?"
We looked at the life of Joseph and how even with all that he went though, (being sold into slavery, being falsely accused by Pharaoh's wife and thrown into prison, etc) God was with him and blessed him. Click here and here for more info.

That's all that's going on in life right now.
~cheers

links

So I played around with my blog, trying to give it a new look. I like the width of this setting, but I would like a different background maybe. Still trying to figure things out, so any pointers would be greatly appreciated.
But because I've been playing around, my link boxes are gone. Sad day, but hopefully tomorrow I'll get on here and fix things. It was way past time I updated those things anyways.
Until then...

This weekend...

It's only Saturday night, and I feel so blessed already!

I made a kinda major decision yesterday (the kind that family may not understand but just have to trust that you're following God on it). I've had mixed reviews from the fam, but great responses from my friends who see and agree with my point of view. So now because of that, I get to go to Texas for Thanksgiving and Christmas... And then today my dad calls and asks me to come at Thanksgiving and stay through Christmas. So that's a fun possiblity. I've got to pray it through though. I don't want to be in Texas if someone calls and wants to interview me for a job. Plus I would miss the Christmas things I wanted to do with my friends here. BUT it's not like I have a job, and I could help my parents move into their new house... and when am I ever going to be able to spend time like this with them. So please pray that I make the best decision all around.

Last night I hung out with the girls. We had dinner then met up with my sister (and friends) who were in town for the night. My friends hadn't really met my sister, so that was fun. And it was cool for my friends here to meet some of my friends from d-ville. Then we came back to my place and we just hung out. It ended up being a sleepover. =-) And it's been forever since I've had one of those.
Then today I went to a financial seminar at my church. It lasted ALL DAY... but it was good. And one of my friends went with, so we laughed a lot.

Tonight some friends that I hadn't talked to in a long time called and we all met up for dinner and went and played games at their house. They have a soon to be one year old and he's so big!! It's weird to me that so many of my friends have had babies in the past year and a half. It kinda freaks me out!
But it was so good to catch up with them and laugh and crack jokes on each other. It was a blast.

Tomorrow it's off to church then home to chill for the rest of the day. I'm looking forward to that.

It's weekends like this that make me see how blessed I am to live where I live and have the friends that I have. I mean I miss my parents, but I'm an adult and need to be on my own right now. I'm so thankful for the way God shows us things. Fun!

So life gets busy, and I don't think anyone REALLY reads this blog, except for my mom. And that makes me not want to write... or gives me excuses to be lazy about it. BUT I just joined an ornament swap (more to come later) and *gasp* I'm afraid people will look at my blog. So I'm going to try and be better at this.

Still no job, but because of that, I'm planning on going to Texas for Thanksgiving and Christmas... which is wonderful considering that when I was laid off, I didn't think I would be able to go. So yay God for working things out. And I've had some great time with some friends lately. So another yay God. =-) Now I just need to see my family. And that will be here before I know it.

Daily Routines...

So this whole... not having a job thing... Not so much fun!

I mean, at first it was kinda nice to have some time off to rest and chill. But now it's BORING! So I've tried to get myself in a routine of sorts.

I'm not a morning person, so this has been incredibly important for me.

I won't go into details... but I have my coffee, do some job searching via internet. Spend some time in the word. Maybe watch a movie or an episode of friends if I'm in the mood.

Somedays I go out and apply at various places... Those are the WORST! I hate going place to place looking for jobs. NOT FUN!

But for the most part it's pretty boring.
I keep praying that the right job will come along. I'm trying to keep faith.
But it's hard when nothing is happening. Thank the Lord for Unemployment checks. (Yes... I am drawing unemployment. Not something I really wanted to do, but when I was laid off, everyone at my work told me the importance of doing this. It's something the company pays for when they lay off people. So CBL... I'm going to take all that I can get from you!!!)

life changes part 2

So nothing is settled in my life right now... and I haven't wanted to write about it/admit it for a while.
I'm still looking for a job, both here and in Texas.
I actually just found out that a job I was really interested in I didn't get. So that's fun.

I've gone back and forth for weeks about staying in Virginia or moving to Texas. And last week I prayed that the Lord would give me a sign about what I'm supposed to do by the middle of this week. So now I'm asking is this the sign I prayed for?

I mean there are other jobs that I've applied for, but I asked the Lord specifically for a sign, and today I don't get a job here.

I don't know what I'm going to do... still.

There's a part of me that wants to move to Texas to be closer to my family, to help them with their church (that's a big desire). But then I know that my life there would be so different from my life here. I have friends here that I love and enjoy spending time with. Going out late on a Saturday night to just talk and catch up. Or just to have these friends to call when I'm down. It's such a blessing. I know that I could find friends in Texas, but I know that it wouldn't be the same. At least not at first.

So that's where I'm at. Asking God if this is the sign that I asked Him for, or if I need to wait longer. Any thoughts?

life changes...

So much has happened lately...

Recently the company I've spent the past year of my life with cut 85 positions. I was one of the "lucky" ones that lost their jobs. All Marketing Assistants were let go, along with many others, including our General Manager.
The worst part was that our office was really small, (6 people), and very much a family. I have to keep reminding myself that it wasn't RRM that did this, but CBL Properties. Yay for corporations! For the most part we're keeping in touch. I had lunch with some of the family last week and this week I am babysitting for my old boss while her mom is on vacation.

The crazy thing is that since they let James and I go, the office has gone crazy. My old boss has quit and her last day is next Friday. The new GM (who is the GM at both VV and RRM) is polar opposite from James, and very much a micro-manager. There is so much junk going on there that it honestly makes me thankful to be out of there. I mean I would love to have a job, but I'm thankful to not have to deal with all the craziness.

So now I'm stuck at a major turning point in life. Stay or Go?!?!?!
My family at work has all assumed that I would just move to Texas right away... and while that is an option... a MAJOR option... I'm still praying through things.

I don't want to just jump into something here or there. So this is me.
I'll try to keep this thing updated with how things go... but come on... honestly... I stink at updating this so no promises. =-)

I'm here...

Just some things to catch up with...

I went to Texas a couple of weeks ago and that was nice.

I've interviewed for a new job at a church, doing ministry. That's pretty exciting. Things are still being worked out, I'm still praying. We'll see what happens.

One of my close friends just got engaged. I'm so happy for her!

I'm finally home, after traveling, house-sitting, etc. It's nice to be home.

I've got a girls weekend in DC planned for the end of the month. I'm ready for that!

Work has been crazy... this week is going to be crazy. My boss and I are thinking of taking Thursday or Friday off.

I visited the new church this morning and liked it! Plus I had a great lunch with a lady from work and we sat and talked for hours.

My sister comes back from Texas today! I'm super excited about that!

I started and finished the Twilight series in a matter of 3 days. Well except for the fact that I had to wait for the 4th book... and read that one the weekend it came out.

I finally saw Mama Mia yesterday. It was cute... didn't meet my expectations... but I still love those musicals.

I love my friends. I've really had a blast hanging out with them lately.

what happened?!?!?!

I've been enjoying my day today. I made a new worship mix and have really been enjoying it. Church this morning was ok. I went back to a church that I used to go to, it was weird being back, but I enjoyed knowing people. It's so hard to go by yourself to visit churches. I've been wanting to check out a couple of different ones, but I always chicken out. Today though, my friend Megan and I decided to go visit one of those churches together next week. It's nice to know that she'll go with me. All the church stuff aside, I've really enjoyed my time with God this evening. I've been asking Him so really hard questions. Not necessarily getting any answers, but He's there, listening.

So as I was going through this, I remembered a conversation I had with a co-worker a few weeks ago. We were talking about church, and different denominations, and stuff. And we were talking about spiritual gifts and stuff. And I remembered one time when I was praying for a certain gift. It was when I was living as a missionary in New Zealand which has been over 3 years ago now. And I was living the life of ministry. And now that I'm back in America, I've lost that desire. I know it's still there, but I feel that I'm caught up in work and my career, that I've lost my heart of ministry. And it's still there, but it's not glowing right now... and I HATE that.

I know that I've gone through some major transitions this past year, but where is that heart? What happened to it? I can't blame my parents moving to Texas. I can't blame my strong desire to move there myself. I can't blame my dis-satisfaction with life. But I'm not sure where it is. It's in me... It's gotta be. I've pushed it aside and let my desires fill that spot I think. I HATE that! I want to be back in New Zealand exploring that life of ministry. I want to be in Texas with my family. I want to be doing ministry full time. I want... I want... I want to change this. I'm not sure how, but I need it. I need to see that heart. I need to get back to when I desired these things. How could I have forgotten those desires for certain gifts?

my favorite thing of the summer so far...

is So You Think You Can Dance!!!

I've never really been big into reality television, but I'm loving this show right now. There are some AMAZING dancers on this show.

My favorite from last night are:


I LOVED their performance and am so glad they are safe. Mia is so artistic. I love what she does.

She's from South Carolina I think. There's something fun about her. I've liked her from day one.

And he's just cute. Good dancer. Good personality.

I hope they all go far on the show.

I'm not too bummed about who went home tonight. In my opinion... they were the right couple to go home.

catch up

So my work blocked blogger, which means that I can no longer blog while I'm at work. That's why I haven't been on here for a while. It was nice to be able to write at work. It was a good way to get away from the craziness that is work. But now that I have my computer back, I can just do it from home.

Life is ok. My sister and I are good. We've talked. We've gotten together a couple of times sense the incident. We're actually spending the weekend together this weekend, being that she's moving to Texas next week. I'm still dealing with things... but in the long run am happy for her, and praying like crazy that she survives all that she's being thrown. She's going to do great!

Just got back from Miami. I'll try and put some pictures up. It was great! The beach was beautiful, The weather for the most part was nice. The hotel, and food were great. It was WONDERFUL to get away.

I just finished the book eat, pray, love. LOVED it! It's a bit too eastern spiritual for me, but I learned a lot from it, and believe that God uses various things in life to draw us closer to Him. This time He choose a book about a girl who meditates and does yoga and believes that she is god and is one with god and all that. I do recommend this book, but you must read it with an open mind. It gives some good thoughts on how to draw closer to God. She just meant herself, while I desire to draw closer to the God of the Universe. I'm still gathering my thoughts on it, so I may have more on it later.

Other than that, life is pretty weird. I'm still in that, I don't want to be where I'm at, but God's not moving me or opening any other doors, so I'm staying put. He's teaching me things. Breaking me of me, and trying to make me more like Him, which hello, isn't that the goal.

I've got some things in the works... like a spending money fast, and other things like that. I'm still gathering my thoughts, but I'm sure it'll get on here soon.

I know this was pretty random, but I'm tired and need to go to bed. It's been a long day.

peace

this makes me feel at peace... and I need to feel at peace right now... badly

emotions stink...

Last night I recieved some interesting news. It's great for my sister and family... just sucks BIG TIME for me.

My sister is moving to Texas for the summer. It's great because they'll be together. But sucks because I'm the one left here yet again.

This has brought out a lot of questions... emotions... frustrations...

Please be praying for me and my family. We've got some "bigger issues" here that need to be dealt with along with the general feelings that have come with this. It's not fun. I HATE Texas again. But what's new? I'm trying hard not to be selfish. But it sucks to be left behind. To not be a part of family things when your heart wants to be there.

I've come to the revelation that where God has me isn't where my heart is. So something about this has to change. Either My Heart needs to change... or God needs to move me. That song by FFH just came to my mind, "Lord Move in a Way that I've never seen before. There's a mountain in the way, and a lock on the door.... Lord Move, Or Move Me" . That's all of the song that I can remember right now... but it's so true in my life. I need this!!!!!!

texas around my neck...

totally me don't ya think?

i love urban outfitters

wish list

A fellow co-worker in my office is wearing a really cute necklace today. So I asked her about it and have been opened up to a new world of Brighton Jewelry. And most of it I don't really like. Especially their purses. Not really my style. BUT... there are a couple of pieces that I've found that look like me I think.

What do you think? I would like to see them in person before I would buy them. They're rather pricey. But it's fun to dream right?

This one makes me think of a Greek goddess. Not that that's me. But it's fun like that. Plus I've been on a long necklace kick lately. It seems that's all I've been buying in the jewelry department.

And this one just looks like me. Don't know why, but it does.

Most of the stuff on their website looks like TEXAS. Which is a turnoff for me, but after some searching, treasures can be found.

time with friends=good weekends

This past weekend was a very "chill" weekend. It was wonderful to have nothing major planned.

On Fri night I met some good friends for dinner before they headed out of town for the weekend. Then I babysat for my dear friends who had a son 5 weeks ago. Jeremiah is the cutest, sweetest, calmest baby ever. He slept on my chest for a while. He ate, I changed 3 DIRTY diapers, it was HEAVEN. The entire time with him, I kept praying, "Lord, I pray that my kids are this great." I'll have the screaming ones I'm sure, but there's nothing wrong with praying that right?

Sat I woke up early and went to the Community Market with Faith. It was terrible to be up that early on a Saturday morning (6:30am to be exact), but it was wonderful. I bought fresh strawberries, veggies, etc. I can't wait to go when everything is super fresh! I'm thinking of having a plate of veggies for dinner tonight. =-)
Then it was home to nap and chill. Watched some of Brothers and Sisters Season 1... my newest TV addiction.

Sunday I hit up church, ran some errands then had lunch with Faith and caught up on computer things. On the way home, there was an accident and I had to go through the country to get home... I had never been this way before and it had just rained and the sun was out. It appeared that everything was shining it's glory. I was driving by the river for a while. It was the PERFECT ending to a good weekend. I can't wait to go riding down that road again. Who knows what's down there.

Nothing major happened, and it was good. Now I'm back at work. BOO!!! Miami, could you come soon?

roommates... should I?

I've been thinking a lot about getting a roommate... I've lived by myself for almost a year now, and while I've loved it in some ways... in other ways I HATE it! I miss having people around sometimes. It's lonely living by yourself. I'm glad I've done it... I've learned a lot about myself through it, but I think I'm ready to try the roommate thing again. The last time I moved in with a friend I got burned bad... and it has made me leary of it for a while. But I'm starting to think that I'm ready to give it another try.

I have now learned to NEVER move in with someone who has lived by themself for over 5 years... especially when you're moving into "their" space. It's quite the story... but basically I had come out of living in a house with 6 girls where we shared EVERYTHING... and loved it. And moved into my friends house where unknown to me, I was renting a room and she didn't like it if she got home from work and I was on her couch watching her TV. (I was told that "It would be rude of me to tell you to get off my couch and give you my remote, but that's how I feel." She basically said it right there.) Needless to say I moved out of that rather quickly.

Now I'm living by myself... and I like it... most days... but I miss having that friend to talk to when I'm getting ready in the morning... or before I go to bed. Just someone to ask how your day was... really that's all I want.

So I came up with a list of things I'm looking for in a roommate. And as I was thinking through these, I realized that this is also what I'm looking for in a man. Funny huh! These may be edited... added to... deleted... etc. But for now:

• I want a roommate who is Godly. Someone who encourages and holds me accountable. And someone I can do the same for. Someone who is my friend... not just someone I rent a room for. I would like for us to be able to hang out sometimes, but not to always have to be together.
• I want a roommate that I can be myself around. Unfortunately, I AM NOT PERFECT! I never will be. But I want someone who I can be REAL with. Who loves me unconditionally and whom I can love unconditionally. Love WINS no matter what!
• I want a roommate that I can have fun with. I always try to make what I do fun. Even the worst staff meetings where I'm about to fall asleep. My goal is to have fun in them. That's what I want. Someone I can have FUN with. (This falls under being myself, but it's super important to me.)

I've been talking with a friend about the possibility of us moving in to a new place together. And while that door isn't shut completely, I feel the Lord telling me to wait on Him. To let HIM work things out. My nature is to rush into things. "Lord this door is open so you must want me to go through it" is usually my plea. This isn't so. So now, I'm waiting. It's a good thing the Lord has me waiting on so many other things... I'm not sure I would know exactly what to do. =-)

MIAMI

At the end of the month, I'm headed to Miami with some friends. We're celebrating J's 30th b-day. How fun to be able to celebrate a big b-day like that in Miami! I'm sitting at work right now... just thinking about how nice it's going to be to sit out on the beach and relax... to get away from life here in the burg. Oh goodness!!! How I can't wait!

I've never been to Miami, and I think that I'm going to be in for a surprise. I'm not generally a "big city" girl. I like being in the city sometimes, but I don't want to live there. I have had a crazy feeling of needing to go explore a "big city" so hopefully this will fill that desire and I can settle back to where I am more comfortable... more at home.

My computer is down right now... I can't check my personal e-mail, get on facebook, or anything that my company has blocked. Thankfully I'm still able to access most of my life

Check them out

I've always liked weird music. I don't know what it is... I really like this station from C-ville that plays more alternative stuff. I've introduced my sister and friends to Regina Spektor and many others. I liked and downloaded the "I'm not going to write you a love song" song before it was as big as it is. I liked Matt Kearney before he was on Greys... There are more people that I THINK should be big, but haven't reached it yet... and some that I just KNOW that they're going to be big...

This is one of those times. I really think this band is going to be big. I may be wrong... it's happened before, but my instinct says that something good is about to happen. She and Him is their name. See if you can recognize her voice. I'll give you a hint. If you love a certain Christmas movie like I do... you'll know who it is right away. Check them out. I think you may like their stuff. It's DIFFERENT, but they've got a good sound.

my heart and texas...

Last week my great uncle died. He was pretty sick so we were prepared for it. It was still sad and emotional, but my parents came out from Texas for the weekend. (It was my mom's uncle and my dad did the funeral.) It was a nice surprise to see them. None of us had any idea when we would see each other...
The funeral part of the weekend was sad, but it was nice to re-connect with some family we hadn't seen in a long time.

Today was my first day back at work and I've been in an emotional rutt since I got back. Yesterday we spent the day as a family. It was the best part of the weekend. And I did great the entire day, until we drove away from the airport... leaving my parents waiting for their plane. That was the WORST FEELING EVER!!!! I HATE that my parents live in Texas. I HATE that Texas is so far away. I HATE that I'm not sure when I'm going to see them again. (This summer we hope... but still.) This makes me think... Why do I feel this way? J my sister said it perfect with, "Life is always better/easier when we're together." And that's IT!!! Life is better when we're together. This weekend we hung out, we loved on each other, and my favorite part was that we ministered together. (Each in our own way, but it was WONDERFUL!) We were TOGETHER.

Now I'm stuck with what now? I don't feel led to Texas. Yes I want to be closer to my parents, but I'm not in love with Texas. I know that where I'm at is where God wants me for right now. (He hasn't opened any doors elsewhere.) And I'm trying real hard to be happy here, but how do I deal with these feelings? Tonight as I was doing laundry, a part of me wanted to just pack up everything and move to Texas. WHY IS THIS???? If anyone has any answers please fill me in.

Yay for emotions of life and stuff.

On a much lighter note, for a pick me up, I got a pedicure today!!! I love those.

Oh and don't you just LOVE that picture. It makes me want waffles and Texas all at once.

i love my job... i love my job... i love my job...

If I keep repeating it will it make it true?!?!?!

Today has just been one of those days. There was drama with the secretary, and drama with security taking chairs that aren't theirs to take (without asking and it is for a personal party mind you!)

Oh goodness... everything is getting me upset today. I hate our security right now.

I'm not going to go into details... but PEOPLE SUCK!! And I know that means me also... and yes, sometimes I suck... but not today. It's making me cranky!!!

I just want this day to end...

Thankfully tonight is a girls night at a friends house. Hopefully it'll be fun... I need to get away from things here. It's time for a vacation. Is 26 too early to retire?

More Please

I stole this title from a friend... but it still applies to me.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about life and how I don't feel content where God has me. I keep telling the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE that I want more. I want a better place to live, I want a washer and dryer, I want a better paying job, I want a nicer car... There are so many things that I THINK I want. "Think" being the key word here. God has given me so much already... He has blessed me with so many things... and yet I still want more. What's up with that? 2 weeks ago we watched a sermon from Louie Giglio about Prayer. (It's called prayer remix and has totally changed my ways of praying). He showed us how we ask for these little things when in comparison, God has given us all these big things and we're not using them. The way he showed this was throught gifts. He had a present... one present. And talked about this being what we want from God. It was a nice present and probably had something nice in side. (Not literaly, just figuratively.) But Louie wanted us to see that God has so much more. We are asking for this one present... when actually he has a whole wall of presents for us that we haven't "opened" yet. We're not tapping into the blessings that He's given us. Louie pulled off a sheet and literaly there was a whole wall of gifts. Pretty gifts... big boxes, little boxes. And this is what has been stuck in my head and heart this week. I've been given so much already... how can I be asking for more?

But there's a flip side....

I've also been thinking about the "More Please" in another way this week. Through realizing that I have been given all these blessings from The GOD OF THE UNIVERSE!!!! It's made me want more of Him. The pastor at my church said on Sunday... "The more we get to know God, the more we love Him." (or something close to this, my notes are at home.) And that has been my hearts cry as well. I want More of Christ in my life. I know I'm not perfect... but I'm tired of this world. This world has nothing for me. (it's hard sometimes to admit, but oh so true) I want more of Christ. I want to love Him more and more everyday.

I feel like these kinda contradict each other. I need to be thankful for what I have and use the blessings I've been given... but I also want more of Jesus in my life.

Funny huh?

Texas... Finally!

So my time in Texas ended up being wonderful. I was kinda nervous about the whole thing, but I realized that my heart is with my family. Not that that's where I need to be right now, but they have a piece of my heart. And there is a comfort that comes with being with family... no matter where you're at.

When I first got there Thurs night we had dinner in Dallas and drove into Athens that night. By the time we got there it was dark and I had NO IDEA where we were. (Big surprise right?) When I first walked into my parents town home all I could think... this stuff doesn't belong here. Everything around me was familiar, yet different. Needless to say I had mixed emotions about that. The next morning we got up and took our time getting ready. It was Jessi's b-day and my pretend one (mine was a week later and we were all together... one of my moms things to do). Then we went riding. And when I say riding... I mean we drove for HOURS and I don't think I saw the same piece of land twice. We saw where they are building the church. We saw Matt's land... and Cliff's land... and Cliffs dad's land... and this man they knows land... Needless to say we saw A LOT of land that day. We had lunch at this cute little shop in dtown Athens. And then it was time for fishin! Where my parents live in Texas there are a lot of lakes. I think it's even called the land of lakes or something. Mom correct me here. So we went to a Trout Fishery (where they raise trout I think). And we saw the UGLIEST cat fish. They were HUGE!!!!! And we fished and just hung out as a family. I caught a catfish!!! My dad had to take it off the hook of course... but still... I did it!!! =-)
We then went and saw the land my parents bought. I can't get over that they're building a house in a gated community. I know this is common for Texas... or Athens I think... but NOT in North Carolina where I'm from. Mom cooked a WONDERFUL dinner that night and had the best wine I think I've ever had and of course I can't find it here in VA. Then we opened presents and hung out.

Saturday was spent in Tyler at the zoo with my cousin and his family. He has 3 little girls and it was fun to see the zoo through their eyes. Then we came home and chilled as a family.

Sunday we went to church. I liked their church. Small, but nice. And then we had a long lunch with some family friends that I've known since I was 3 or 4. I love Mark and his family. Mark is like my big brother. I am so glad that if my parents have to be in Texas... at least they're with Mark and Lisa. And WOW... their kids have grown so much. It was so cool to see how mature they are. It's always weird when kids you've watched grow up become teenagers... there was a lot of that this weekend. =-) After lunch we all went home to take naps and do whatever... then Mark and Lisa and the kids came over to my parents house and we sat for hours talking about stuff. This was my favorite part of the weekend. Just sitting laughing... being with people I love. It was WONDERFUL!

Monday we spent the day shopping and driving into Dallas... It was D-day, the day of departure back to VA. We just spent even more time together... and then that night we flew back to g-boro. And I've already talked about the delays... man that wasn't fun!

The weekend was A LOT of together time. It was a lot of us doing things... or just just sitting talking... but we were TOGETHER. That was the best part.

I realized after my time in Texas... I don't hate Texas anymore. I don't love it... but I don't hate it either. Do I want to move there... not really. But do I want to be closer to my family? You'd better believe it!

My Home....

or wherever that is... but this is my favorite home... even if it's not home anymore...

I know... I promised but....

LIFE GOT CRAZY!!! I will write about Texas soon.... I PROMISE!

• But right now I'm watching Biggest Loser and am getting ready to lose myself in my new book.
  

• God has really touched my life through the story of Whitney Cerak. My family and I watched the special on Dateline while I was in Texas, and I've been blown away because of it ever since. I just got the book tonight and can't wait to get lost in it.

• God is so good and is teaching me things like crazy! I had dinner with a good friend/family member tonight and it was so good to catch up on life and share our hearts with each other. So fun!!! And Faith crashed it for a little while and she's so great!! I love her so much!!!
  

• My b-day was yesterday, and my sister surprised me by coming up to see me. (This made my day!!!!) Then my girls had a party for me at small group last night... it was so fun! We just talked and played games. I love those ladies.

• AND... My good friend is getting ready to have her baby ANY MINUTE now!!! I'm so excited! I'm waiting for the phone call letting me know he's been born. COME ON JEREMIAH!!! I can't wait to meet you!

Have a great night!

The Joys of Travel

I'm back!!! I got in late last night/early this morning. Something like 4am I believe. Our plane was delayed and didn't leave until close to 10pm (central time), which put us in Greensboro around 1:30am (eastern time). And with waiting to get the luggage, trying to find the ride to Overflow parking, then the drive to d-ville... It was a long night.

The original plan was for us to get in to g-boro at 11pm, then I would drop Jessi off in d-ville, then drive up to l-burg and make it to work today. That was BEFORE our plane was delayed for 3 hrs. I know... travel is all about being flexible, and you never know what could happen... but still... I was hoping for things to work out MY way. =-)

I ended up taking the day off today to catch up on rest and get unpacked. I'm glad I did. Jessi and I had lunch in a cute diner in d-ville then went home to take naps before I headed back to the burg. I'm now feeling rested and ready to head back into work tomorrow. I'm dreading it of course, but what's new. More details of the trip to come... I PROMISE!

I really want to be here right now:



This is one of my favorite beaches in New Zealand. There is just something about this place that keeps me relaxed. Even now when it's been almost 3 years since I've been there... just seeing this picture helps me to relax. (Seriously... I even have a picture of this beach on my desktop at work.)

Tomorrow I fly out to Texas. I'm super excited... a bit nervous... and a little scared. I'm praying that God shows me a lot on this trip. I want to see my parents vision for this town... I want to SEE with my eyes how God has them there. I want to see if it's a place I could live myself. (No this is not something I'm praying about right now... but I need to consider it.) I feel like there's a lot of pressure with this trip. That's why I want to be at Piha Beach. I've got so much to do tonight... I wish my bags would pack themselves. It's pretty much all ready, I've just got to make it all fit in my suite case. THANKFULLY... my friend Andy is on Spring Break this week and offered to do my laundry yesterday while I was at work. This is my friend who could have her baby ANY DAY now... but she wouldn't take no for an answer. She knows all that I have to do... and all that I'm going through... she wanted to help. I'm blessed.

So for now... I guess I'm going to have to settle for some lake in East Texas. (Where my parents have just bought land.) I don't think it'll be the same... Piha Beach New Zealand... Athens Texas.... somehow I don't think they can compare.

Easter Weekend

This past weekend was really great! I ended up at my sisters house to have Easter with her and what I call her "D-ville Family". I almost didn't go... I had planned to get two new tires for my car on Friday, but there were some other things wrong with it, so it ended up costing me over $400 total. (I had planned on $150.) Thankfully the guy worked with me. Crazy car expenses. So I struggled a bit with the thought of driving down to D-ville, knowing that I had to drive to G-boro this Thursday to fly out to TEXAS! (More on that later.) But I went... and man am I glad I did. I had one of the best weekends I've had in a while.

When I got there on Sat, Jessi and I went and met some friends at the park for an hour or so. It was so nice just to catch up with them. They just had a baby right before Christmas and Jessi hadn't seen him yet. He's grown since the last time I saw him. We had our "baby fix" for the day, and went to dinner at her roommates parents house. Then we did something I hadn't done in YEARS!!! We dyed Easter Eggs. It was so much fun! Then we went home and played my new favorite game... ROCK BAND! Can I tell you how much I love this game. I had played Guitar Hero before... and it's pretty sweet, but with Rock Band so many people can play and you can rotate what you play. Oh goodness, I so want this game, but so DO NOT NEED IT. I would be addicted I'm sure. I stink at the drums, but am pretty decent on the singing, and the guitar I LOVE. The first time I tried guitar hero I stunk so bad... but I can honestly say I am WAY better than that time. =-)

Sunday was great as well. The Easter Bunny came to the house... then church was really good as always. Then it was back to the roommates parents house for lunch. (This is also the pastor of the church.) It was great... I felt so at home... Jessi and I just jumped in and helped cook and get things set up. There were about 20 people that came... and we had an Easter Egg hunt for the little ones after lunch, then played games into the early evening. We laughed, ate A LOT! and just had a good time.

Then it was home to Jessi's to fall asleep watching a movie only to wake up at 10:30pm and have to drive back to L-burg. Monday was a sleepy day!!!

Last night was crash and tonight is catch up/clean because on Thursday...

I AM GOING TO TEXAS!!!!! Yee Haw

I can't wait! Last night some of the ladies in my small group prayed for me and my time there. It was so sweet to have friends that have been through this crazy transition of life with you. They know how I'm going to have such mixed emotions while I'm there. They were there for the first... "Yeah, so my parents are moving to Texas" to the more recent "I hate Texas" or even "darn Texas" (except it wasn't darn there but another word instead. =-) ) While my distaste of Texas may have changed, I still don't like the fact that this is where my parents live. But I'm gradually getting over this, and hopefully this trip will help.

So this is my life right now. I'm sure there'll be more to write about after this. I'm still mulling over my emotions from a few weekends ago when I went to NC. Time heals things... at least that's what I'm praying for.

On a side note... check THIS BLOG out. It's the church that I've been visiting. Their youth group is in New Orleans this week on a missions trip. loVe New Orleans. One of my good friends is there with them, so it's neat to read about their experiences. Please be praying for them. Make sure and read Day 1. I LOVE what they do to bless the people around them on their way down. What a wonderful opportunity to show Christ's loVe.

Crankypants No More

Today turned out better than I thought it would. It started out with me not feeling so well (sinuses), to me being cranky at work, and this afternoon after work I was fine. Being a woman is so weird sometimes.

I am blessed with some great friends. Tonight we decided to have dinner and a movie at my place... and it was wonderful. We had pancakes and turkey wraps. (I wasn't planning on this, it was a spur of the moment, so we raided the fridge.) It was fun. We watched an episode of The Office, then popped in a movie. And now everyone is gone and I'm off to bed. I'm thinking the crankiness is because I haven't caught up on my sleep from the weekend. If not... maybe I can take my friends to work with me tomorrow?!?! Now THAT would be fun.

Thanks guys for a great night.

Crankypants

I am cranky today. I don't know why. It's not that time of the month. I went to be early last night.

I don't know what's going on with me today, but I am just cranky! I want to go home and go to bed!

I was talking with our office secretary, and she says that everyone in the office is cranky today. Which is true!

It must be cranky Wednesday or something.

This Past Weekend

I went home to North Carolina... But it wasn't home. It was nice to be where things were familiar, but even that was weird. I knew it was going to be weird... but I didn't know how much.

This is part of an e-mail that I sent to a friend on Monday. It's easier to copy and paste rather than re-write it.
My weekend was good. It was WEIRD to go home. I didn't like the new pastor... he's nice and all, but so NOT like my dad. Which is fine, I know I can't expect that... but it still hurt my heart to see someone else on that stage preaching to that church. He's very quiet and NOT FUNNY AT ALL!!! He tried... but he just can't compare. My dad is one in a million. He's crazy and has the personality that can get along and reach ANYONE. This guy... well I was bored and didn't agree with some of the things he said. He's VERY traditional and preached from the KJV. Oh no! =-) And he said that rated R movies are bad. Which some are... but not all are... and I HATE it when preachers talk about things like that without giving explanations. He could have said that some are, but some aren't, it's not about the ratings... it's about what's in it. Some PG-13 movies are just as bad. Why didn't he say that all movies are bad? Not just R rated. It just made him sound legalistic to me... and I don't want that for Eagle Heights.

Being at the church made me miss my dad sooo much. At the end of the service they played his favorite song before they left... and all I could see was him sitting on the stage crying to that song. Crying because of the words... crying because he was leaving. And of course... I started crying. Not the little tears that I had cried earlier. (Yes... I cried a little when I saw the new guy on the stage.) But this time I couldn't stop. I was ruining my makeup and everything.

It was great to see the people though. I love that church and miss those people like crazy. I don't want to move back, and if I did, I probably wouldn't go there... but still... those people are my heart. They have a piece of it, you know?

Other than that... we had a good weekend. I had a LOT of fun with Jessi. And LOVED hanging out with our Aunt Becky. I love her... really I do. Sometimes she gets on my nerves, but I do love her. She made me miss my mom. We just hung out and did things you do with your mom. It was great. I'll go back to visit them soon I hope.

And the time with Jessi... sweet. I am blessed to have her as my sister. I love her!!! We laughed... talked... a lot... and just had fun. I couldn't have gone through church on Sunday without her.

That was my weekend. Mom, this is what I couldn't say on the phone. Hope it makes sense.

In less than a month

I will be with my family in Texas!!!

Jessi will get there on Monday and I'll join them on Thursday night. And we have 4 days together until Jessi and I leave on Monday night.

I can't wait to hear my mom say... "Look, all four of us are in the car together." (She LOVES us being together... and we always joke about how long it's going to take for her to say this.)

I can't wait to see where they live, and their church, and the small town they always talk about.

BABY... I can't wait to see baby. (Our family dog that is the best dog ever!)

THIS is what has gotten me through this crazy week at work. Knowing that I'm going there, even for just a short time, helps big time. That and the fact that we're going to NC next weekend. March is a month for going home. Home to NC, and home to where our parents are. (And no mom and Crystal... Texas is NOT home.)

I've been working out on our Easter set this week. I know one thing... if Marketing doesn't work out, I can have a career in flower arranging. Ugh! I've never seen so many fake flowers. In some ways this has been tougher than the Santa set. I think I was actually better at that. That was basically decorating for Christmas. This time it's using flowers and vines. Craziness. I love that my job responsibilities include so many random things. I'll be back out there tomorrow. And the sad thing is... I've gotta work Saturday for the Bunny Breakfast. I hate that during the holidays, my job becomes my life. I been so wrapped up in the silly Easter Bunny, that I haven't even thought about the real reason for Easter till just now. That's sad. I hate that! Granted, it doesn't feel like Spring, and Easter's so early this year... but still. =-(
Hopefully being at church and having the afternoon off to rest on Sunday will help put things back into perspective.

My heart right now...

I've been visiting a new church the past two weeks, and have been led into a sweet place of worship both weeks. It's somewhere that I haven't been in a while, and it's been sweet.

This song has really touched my heart this week.
(the video is ok... but the song itself is what is so great.)

Work has been going well. I'm super busy with Easter things, but it makes life fun.

I've got some fun stuff coming up in the next few months or so.

~Jessi and I are headed to NC for the weekend next week. I'm nervous, sad, and excited all at once. The last time we were at the church was with our parents and while our dad was the preacher. It'll be weird to visit Eagle Heights with another pastor. But it'll be sweet to see everyone that we love.

~at the end of March, I'm headed to TEXAS!!! I can't wait to see my parents.

~At the end of May, some friends and I are headed to Miami.... so fun!!! It's bene so long since I've been to the beach.

~And in April I turn 26... so weird.

That's life right now. So many ways that God is at work.

my toe hurts

my friend tonight told me that I needed to update my blog... so here it is.

I'm tired. I'm a bit cranky. I stayed up too late watching the Oscars with my friend Faith last night and paid for it today. And now, my toe hurts. (Not sure about the toe. Must have hit it on something.) Random I know... but it's true.

I'm headed to bed. This week is going to be a crazy. The Easter Bunny arrives on Saturday, so we've gotta get the set finished. Yay for my crazy marketing job. You never know what you may have to do from day to day.

One of those days...

Did you ever have one of those days where you felt you couldn't do anything right? One that makes you question things like why God has you where you're at?

That was my day today. I just felt unsettled today. Like everything I did was wrong... and it wasn't. I actually did SOME good things today... but there were somethings in my job that I just couldn't get. Like something on the mall website was wrong. And it's something I put on there. And the big corporate people have no lives and roam all their malls websites looking for errors. Or something silly like forgetting something that was told to you as you're walking out the door two days ago. (This is why I have to write EVERYTHING down.) It just makes you feel like you're not good at your job... you know?

I'm so thankful that today is over. It's the weekend. I can "sleep in" tomorrow. I love not having to set the alarm clock.

Happy V-Day

I'm almost done with work and am off to a game night with some friends. I've never been big on Valentine's Day. My thought is that when you love someone... you show them all year long, not just one day. But I'm looking forward to hanging out with some girls and just having fun. I'm sure there'll be laughing all night long!

The strike is over...

This means that my favorite show comes back! Can I tell you how much I LOVE this show. The people in my office think that I'm crazy for liking this show. They don't get it. They make fun of me because I love it so much. But I DON'T CARE. This show makes me laugh so much. I'm laughing now thinking about some of my favorite scenes. So yay for The Office. I've missed you!

25

There is something about the age 25. I've been this age since last year... and in April, I'll be 26. Turning 25 was really weird for me, and my sister. I remember after my b-day she called and was freaking out because I was 25 and how old that was to her. =-) She was just freaked out because that meant that this year she was turning 25.

I think 25 has always been a milestone for me. When I was younger, I looked at people who were 25 and thought... "Man, I can't wait to be 25." I thought I would be settled, probably living in NC, married with kids on the way. CRAZY stuff like that. None of these things have happened. I am settled in my job (but it's not my heart). I'm not in NC (but neither are my parents). And I am definitely not married with kids on the way.

I remember going to my roommates wedding in PA last summer. There were several of us in the car, and of course, we were sharing our hearts... but mainly we were laughing... A LOT. (Now that I think back on it... that was one FUN trip!) Two of the girls are married and the other one is just out of college and still trying to figure things out. We got to talking about the age of 25 and how at this point in life... you've learned who you are and are ok with it. I agreed with them because I could see how I was starting this process.

Now looking back, this year has been a year of revelations. I have seen who I am... and learned that I'll never be "good enough" I'll never be perfect. But I am who I am... And I am good with that. Yes, there are things I want to change in my life. And I am beginning this process. But for now... What you see is what you get.

A little about me:
~I'm a dork. I can't help it. I've learned to embrace this.
~I love to laugh and probably sometimes laugh too much. Especially at work.
~I love my family. They are my support system.
~I love my friends. They are a part of my family.
~I have a crafty side. It comes and goes... but it's there.
~I love the Lord... but am not where I want to be with Him. (One of the areas changing in my life.)
~I love serving God through children's ministry at my church. But am enjoying this break from it... but miss it like crazy at the same time.
~I know that no church is perfect.... but struggle seeing the flaws in my church... which makes me question where God has me.
~I love to escape in a good book or a good movie.

Just some random tid-bits.

I'm so thankful that tomorrow is Wednesday. The past two days have been sooo long!
Yay for hump-day!

time for bed

I've been playing with a new layout... but it's way past my bedtime...

I'll be regretting this in the morning, but I like the new look of things... very artsy. If only I was artistic in real life. =-)

Let me know what you think!

I smell with my nose...

Today I has been all about smells for me. At least tonight has been.

Today was a good day. I spent the morning finishing up my mom's b-day gift. Her b-day was on Thursday, but I had to put some finishing touches on it today so it'll go out first thing Monday morning. I promise mom... it'll be worth the wait! This is unlike any gift I've ever given. It's so great to give something to someone and be so excited about it.

Then this afternoon I went to a movie with my good friend Crystal. We saw 27 Dresses... it was very cute and girlie. Exactly what I was in the mood for. James Marsden was a nice treat! Then we met her husband for dinner... and had the best dinner ever! Ruby Tuesdays' Avocado Turkey Burger is the best burger ever. And we split chocolate cake with strawberries for desert. We laughed a lot. We talked a lot. It was a lot of fun. I love them! God has blessed me with great friends!

We went our separate ways and I ended up at Target. This isn't that big of a surprise. I love to walk the aisles and look at things. While I was there... I kept getting distracted by smells. I found some lotion that is amazing! It had the little red sticker... so of course I had to get it. (No I didn't need it, but It was a good buy so I'm happy.) Then I went to pick out some dryer sheets (random I know...) and found the best smelling ones. I wanted to buy them to put around my apartment just to smell good but I didn't. I can't wait for Tuesday to use them on my laundry.

Now I'm at home with soft, good smelling skin... getting ready to read my book and go to bed.

There was ice, but I'm still here:

Yes... this is my office, and yes... it is pink! (My boss had this office before me, and she picked the color out. I think it would hurt her feelings for me to change it. Plus we didn't BUDGET for it this year. =-) )

boo ice

they're calling for ice again tomorrow.... UGH... I don't mind the snow. It's not so bad to drive in, but I HATE ice. Take the ice and bring us snow. Oh wait... nevermind, bring us spring. I'm ready!
oh yeah... and some schools are closed already and NOTHING has happened yet. Gotta love the South.

Deep in the Heart of Texas

I bought my first of many plane tickets to Texas today. I've still got mixed emotions about Texas and all... but I see how God is starting to change my heart. So other than the fact that it's not home... I'm sooo excited to see my parents. Where they live, the church, the town... things like this. It's not going to be the same... but I still can't wait!!! I am blessed with some of the BEST parents in the world. Mom... the end of March isn't that far. I promise it'll be here before we know it!

follow up

I was looking at my blog, and I realized that there were a couple of posts that I didn't follow up on. So here it is... what everyone has been waiting for.... follow up to several of my previous posts.



Cell Phone..

On Sunday, I went to d-ville and got a new phone. I ended up getting the Hue. (It's the red one that my dad has.) There were some issues with it on Monday, and by Tuesday morning, they had to give me a new one. No biggie, just more of a pain that anything. Ends up I really like it and am happy with my choice. Plus I saved a pretty good amount of money with this one.



Snow Day...

Thursday was a wonderful snow day. My boss called me and told me to stay in. (gotta love that). So I went out and took some food to some friends that just had a baby. So fun! Came home and went to visit some friends that live in my building, and they wanted me to go to dinner with them... so I went, and we came home and watched a movie together. A good time was had by all. (inside joke with my parents. =-)) I could've come into work, but it was nice to have a day off to enjoy the snow.

Goals for 08...

I've been doing well with most of my goals. The big one that I'm working on right now is the water. It's actually been good and kinda fun to see how much water I can drink in a day. Weird I know... but I've gotta make it fun somehow.

That's all for now. I'll try and write more later. I'm house-sitting and I want to share some of my fun adventures!

Words from God through Emily

I went home (or to the home that I am house-sitting right now) for lunch... I'm having some issues with my new phone and had to go get the paperwork so I can return it for a new one... only to learn that all the alltel stores are closed for MLK. Wonderful!!!

I logged onto my e-mail to see that my friend Emily had written on my facebook wall. (Terrible, but wonderful addiction.) She's a friend through a friend, and I love her... I just don't see her often. It had been probably a year or so since I saw her before this last time over the holidays... so that tells you about our relationship. We live in the same town, but have different lives. Kinda sad when put that way...

Anyways... this is what she wrote me...

Just wanted to encourage you with a verse that's meant a lot to me this week!
Lamentations 3:22-25
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
Love you!

That was her note. We're friends... and I share my heart freely with her when we're together, but we don't have a lot of moments together. But she has no idea what God has been doing in my heart. She has no idea how much I needed to read this today. She didn't... but God did. (I also cheated/stalked and looked to see if she wrote it on other people's walls... and nope.. just me!)

Isn't it cool how God does things like that!!!

I need to work on my schedule and make time for this friend. I love her!

SNOW

This is what I woke up to this morning...


My boss and I are waiting to see if it stops before we decide to go into work.
(Probably around lunch time.)

I love that I live in the south... schools were closed last night before anything happened. This was always wonderful when I was younger and in school. Now it just means that all my teacher friends get days off, and I still have to go into work. =-( Not so fun now.

I need a change in thinking

I had a girl that was going to work for me over the holidays just as seasonal help. When we hired her she said that she could work "anytime". My instinct said that she wasn't what we were looking for, but I thought I was being too judgmental. We ended up hiring her, but it was a big mistake. She showed up twice, and then just stopped. It started out that there was always something... her child was sick. She was sick. She had to take her daughter to the hospital. Stuff like that. Then she just stopped showing up. By that time I had taken her off the schedule so it wasn't a big deal.
(One of the sad things about this was that I didn't believe her. When you have people working for you, you learn how to read people.)
She finally brought in her keys today (2 months later). She apologized for taking too long (I have been calling her every couple of days for a while now), and claimed that when you've got an abusive husband, it's hard to get away. I didn't know what to say. I just said... "ok, let me get you that number you needed." I walked back to my office and my first reaction was to roll my eyes and judge her. Just because she's been a crappy worker, doesn't mean that she's not being honest about her husband. Where is the ministry that I've been called to? I still think she was probably making up excuses, and I was nice to her, but why is my first reaction to something like that... "liar"?
I don't have the answers to these questions... hopefully insight and change will come soon.

Goals for 08

I've never really been big on resolutions. I always make them... and never follow through. Or get to realize once again... that there are some things that I just stink at. So this year I was praying about resolutions... wanting God to be a part of this "new year". And He showed me... it's not about resolutions. If you wanna change something, don't wait for the new year. Start today! It doesn't matter when you start something... it's that you do it. Anyways... so this year I didn't make any resolutions... I made myself some goals. And I tried to keep them so that they were attainable. We'll see...

• Be on time. (this is something I've ALWAYS struggled with... from birth I believe. It seems that I'm always late these days. I want to change this.)
• Do better at keeping in touch with friends. (Again... something that I suck at. Just ask my friends. But i've started on a good foot. I called a couple of friends that I haven't talked to in a while. It was wonderful to catch up with them.)
• Budget! (This is another area of my life that I've struggled with most of my life... At least since I was old enough to have money. I was the one who always spent the money while my sister is the saver. I started my budget last year... and so far it's going ok. I still struggle with it obviously, but it's something God has asked me to do so I must do it.)
• Visit Texas ASAP and as much as possible. I'm trying to change my attitude about that state... really I am.
• Be happy with where God has me. And if not... pray for a change.
• As always... get healthy. And actually... I'm starting this goal off simple. Starting yesterday, I'm giving up real soda and I'm only allowed one diet soda a day. (this is big for me somedays). Other than that... it's H2O for me. There are some exceptions to this rule. If I'm eating out... water. But if it's Mexican... ONE diet soda (no refills) I can't handle the spice with just water. And on weekends... I'm allowed ONE can or small sized regular soda. My goal with this is to start out simple... and then make more changes. And maybe there are a lot of exceptions... but it's a start right?

These may be added to on a later date... but for now this is it. I'll keep you updated on how they are going. =-)

rainy day

Today I called in sick to work. Not because I'm really sick, mainly because I needed (or wanted) a day off to myself. I've got some comp/holiday days that I've got to take before the end of the month, so I'll be ok and get paid for it...

I have done nothing important today and it has been WONDERFUL! I took a nap. I finished my book. I caught up on Pushing Daisy's online. And tonight is the last new Grey's for a while. So it's been a good day. I haven't answered my phone... (i did call my sister back though). I'm looking at the stack of book on my coffee table and I can't decide which one to read next. I'm going to fix soup for dinner and stay in and enjoy the warmth of my house.

Tomorrow is Friday!!! Thank the Lord. I'll be up to my knees in cleaning. (I get to wear grubby clothes i.e. jeans). It's January and the Mall is dead. It'll be a good time to clean out and throw away junk that has accumulated throughout the years. I'm actually looking forward to it!
Have a great weekend!

Next on the List

This is the next book by this author. It continues with some of the same characters. I can't wait to read it. Now if someone would only put it on book mooch.

The Guy I'm Not Dating

I went to Barnes and Noble yesterday in the search of a cd. I found that cd, but I also found my new favorite book. It's called "The Guy I'm Not Dating." It was so wonderful that I almost stayed home from work today just to finish it. (I've got a couple of days I need to take off in the month of Jan.) =-)

Anyways... I LOVED this book. The story is about a girl who decides to "give up" dating and then meets the man of her dreams, and how they allow God to lead them together instead of letting their emotions and desires get in the way. I've always liked the idea of courtship when dating... and this book makes me like it even more. YES... I know that it's just a book, but I love it when the Lord speaks to you through random things that you're not looking for him in. It's one of those stories that makes you feel good.. and I'm a sucker for those types of things.

The problem with books, movies, things like these are that when I read/watch them, they make me want a husband really bad. And this is something that I'm working with God on. It's like I wrote about earlier... I need to be ok with where God has me... but not ok with where I am with God. God has me here for a reason. I am single for a reason. I am in a job that I don't love for a reason. All of these are great reminders for me to truly trust God. In HIS timing. Yeah... it's hard. Somedays I wanna take things into my own hands. And sometimes I do. That's the great thing about God. He forgives unconditionally and teaches us through these times. Oh how great to know that God is in control. (if only I could make this feeling last past the next five minutes.) =-)

New Phone

I hate my phone right now. It randomly dies... doesn't charge unless it's in the car... goes in and out of service area (in areas that it's always had service)... junk like that.

So I'm in the process of switching to Alltel, but I can't decide on a phone.
Here are some choices... Let me know what you think!

This is my first choice I think... the only problem is that it's kinda like a Razor...
and that's what I have right now and I've recently had a lot of problems with it. =-/

This is my second choice... my dad has it... but I don't LOVE it.

I've got some friends who have this one... but I'm not that impressed with the quality...
Maybe I'm too picky.

Or... do I go with something fancy like this?

I can't decide... and this is something that I need to do this week. I wish we had Verizon here... They have the BEST phones.. and I'm really happy with the service I've had.

Crazy Weekend with Friends

This past weekend was a fun filled weekend... one of those that you look forward to when you have nothing to do, but makes you thankful for the ones where you nothing to do also. It also made me realize how blessed I am to have certain friends in my life. One in particular... I spent quite a lot of time with her because her husband has been out of town... but I am just so blessed to have friends that know me... really know me (the good and the bad stuff) and love me still. She is one of those people.

On Friday I went to see Juno with this friend... I have some mixed emotions about this movie. I think in some ways they tried to hard to make it an indie movie. And I can't decide if it glorified teenage pregnancies... So I guess the jury is still out on this one.

Saturday I had the pleasure to see one of my good friends marry the person that God created her for. I mean they are so perfect for each other it's almost sick. But cute at the same time. It was a small wedding.. and she only invited a small amount of people, so it was an honor just to be invited.

Here are some pics of the wedding.

The happy couple.

The first dance.



Some of the group...
Andy, Andy, Me and Jess


Crys, Liz and Me.
I love those girls!

Jaden with his Auntie Sundi.
~He melts my heart.

Today after church we had a b-day party for another friend who turned 25. It was fun. Her husband planned this game where we had to draw or act out 25 of her favorite places, and when she guessed them, she got a gift card from the place. Great idea and a lot of fun!

The birthday girl and her hubby... too cute.

I also got to talk to a couple of good friends that I hadn't talked to in a while. One of them (Steph) had just gotten back from New Zealand, so it was good to hear about her time there. It made me wanna go back so bad though. I was able to share my heart with PJ... and it is so good when God speaks to you through a friend. He shared with me something that God gave him... and it really spoke to me.
"Don’t be ok with where you are with God… Be ok with where God has you."
So true... and what I really needed to hear tonight.

Not ready to go back to work... but hey... gotta make a living somehow right?!?!

Once

I just finished watching Once. It was one of those movies that it starts out slow, but if you stick with it it's worth it. Plus I'm one of those people that when I start a movie/book, I want to finish it no matter how good or bad it may be. So I stuck with it with this movie... and man I am glad that I did. It had one of those endings that you're both happy and sad about at the same time.

But I think the thing that got me the most about this movie was the music. It's what made the movie good for me. Some of it was hard to follow, or at least it was for me. But the music in this movie was AMAZING!!! I would recommend this movie just to hear the music in it...