peace

this makes me feel at peace... and I need to feel at peace right now... badly

emotions stink...

Last night I recieved some interesting news. It's great for my sister and family... just sucks BIG TIME for me.

My sister is moving to Texas for the summer. It's great because they'll be together. But sucks because I'm the one left here yet again.

This has brought out a lot of questions... emotions... frustrations...

Please be praying for me and my family. We've got some "bigger issues" here that need to be dealt with along with the general feelings that have come with this. It's not fun. I HATE Texas again. But what's new? I'm trying hard not to be selfish. But it sucks to be left behind. To not be a part of family things when your heart wants to be there.

I've come to the revelation that where God has me isn't where my heart is. So something about this has to change. Either My Heart needs to change... or God needs to move me. That song by FFH just came to my mind, "Lord Move in a Way that I've never seen before. There's a mountain in the way, and a lock on the door.... Lord Move, Or Move Me" . That's all of the song that I can remember right now... but it's so true in my life. I need this!!!!!!

texas around my neck...

totally me don't ya think?

i love urban outfitters

wish list

A fellow co-worker in my office is wearing a really cute necklace today. So I asked her about it and have been opened up to a new world of Brighton Jewelry. And most of it I don't really like. Especially their purses. Not really my style. BUT... there are a couple of pieces that I've found that look like me I think.

What do you think? I would like to see them in person before I would buy them. They're rather pricey. But it's fun to dream right?

This one makes me think of a Greek goddess. Not that that's me. But it's fun like that. Plus I've been on a long necklace kick lately. It seems that's all I've been buying in the jewelry department.

And this one just looks like me. Don't know why, but it does.

Most of the stuff on their website looks like TEXAS. Which is a turnoff for me, but after some searching, treasures can be found.

time with friends=good weekends

This past weekend was a very "chill" weekend. It was wonderful to have nothing major planned.

On Fri night I met some good friends for dinner before they headed out of town for the weekend. Then I babysat for my dear friends who had a son 5 weeks ago. Jeremiah is the cutest, sweetest, calmest baby ever. He slept on my chest for a while. He ate, I changed 3 DIRTY diapers, it was HEAVEN. The entire time with him, I kept praying, "Lord, I pray that my kids are this great." I'll have the screaming ones I'm sure, but there's nothing wrong with praying that right?

Sat I woke up early and went to the Community Market with Faith. It was terrible to be up that early on a Saturday morning (6:30am to be exact), but it was wonderful. I bought fresh strawberries, veggies, etc. I can't wait to go when everything is super fresh! I'm thinking of having a plate of veggies for dinner tonight. =-)
Then it was home to nap and chill. Watched some of Brothers and Sisters Season 1... my newest TV addiction.

Sunday I hit up church, ran some errands then had lunch with Faith and caught up on computer things. On the way home, there was an accident and I had to go through the country to get home... I had never been this way before and it had just rained and the sun was out. It appeared that everything was shining it's glory. I was driving by the river for a while. It was the PERFECT ending to a good weekend. I can't wait to go riding down that road again. Who knows what's down there.

Nothing major happened, and it was good. Now I'm back at work. BOO!!! Miami, could you come soon?

roommates... should I?

I've been thinking a lot about getting a roommate... I've lived by myself for almost a year now, and while I've loved it in some ways... in other ways I HATE it! I miss having people around sometimes. It's lonely living by yourself. I'm glad I've done it... I've learned a lot about myself through it, but I think I'm ready to try the roommate thing again. The last time I moved in with a friend I got burned bad... and it has made me leary of it for a while. But I'm starting to think that I'm ready to give it another try.

I have now learned to NEVER move in with someone who has lived by themself for over 5 years... especially when you're moving into "their" space. It's quite the story... but basically I had come out of living in a house with 6 girls where we shared EVERYTHING... and loved it. And moved into my friends house where unknown to me, I was renting a room and she didn't like it if she got home from work and I was on her couch watching her TV. (I was told that "It would be rude of me to tell you to get off my couch and give you my remote, but that's how I feel." She basically said it right there.) Needless to say I moved out of that rather quickly.

Now I'm living by myself... and I like it... most days... but I miss having that friend to talk to when I'm getting ready in the morning... or before I go to bed. Just someone to ask how your day was... really that's all I want.

So I came up with a list of things I'm looking for in a roommate. And as I was thinking through these, I realized that this is also what I'm looking for in a man. Funny huh! These may be edited... added to... deleted... etc. But for now:

• I want a roommate who is Godly. Someone who encourages and holds me accountable. And someone I can do the same for. Someone who is my friend... not just someone I rent a room for. I would like for us to be able to hang out sometimes, but not to always have to be together.
• I want a roommate that I can be myself around. Unfortunately, I AM NOT PERFECT! I never will be. But I want someone who I can be REAL with. Who loves me unconditionally and whom I can love unconditionally. Love WINS no matter what!
• I want a roommate that I can have fun with. I always try to make what I do fun. Even the worst staff meetings where I'm about to fall asleep. My goal is to have fun in them. That's what I want. Someone I can have FUN with. (This falls under being myself, but it's super important to me.)

I've been talking with a friend about the possibility of us moving in to a new place together. And while that door isn't shut completely, I feel the Lord telling me to wait on Him. To let HIM work things out. My nature is to rush into things. "Lord this door is open so you must want me to go through it" is usually my plea. This isn't so. So now, I'm waiting. It's a good thing the Lord has me waiting on so many other things... I'm not sure I would know exactly what to do. =-)

MIAMI

At the end of the month, I'm headed to Miami with some friends. We're celebrating J's 30th b-day. How fun to be able to celebrate a big b-day like that in Miami! I'm sitting at work right now... just thinking about how nice it's going to be to sit out on the beach and relax... to get away from life here in the burg. Oh goodness!!! How I can't wait!

I've never been to Miami, and I think that I'm going to be in for a surprise. I'm not generally a "big city" girl. I like being in the city sometimes, but I don't want to live there. I have had a crazy feeling of needing to go explore a "big city" so hopefully this will fill that desire and I can settle back to where I am more comfortable... more at home.

My computer is down right now... I can't check my personal e-mail, get on facebook, or anything that my company has blocked. Thankfully I'm still able to access most of my life

Check them out

I've always liked weird music. I don't know what it is... I really like this station from C-ville that plays more alternative stuff. I've introduced my sister and friends to Regina Spektor and many others. I liked and downloaded the "I'm not going to write you a love song" song before it was as big as it is. I liked Matt Kearney before he was on Greys... There are more people that I THINK should be big, but haven't reached it yet... and some that I just KNOW that they're going to be big...

This is one of those times. I really think this band is going to be big. I may be wrong... it's happened before, but my instinct says that something good is about to happen. She and Him is their name. See if you can recognize her voice. I'll give you a hint. If you love a certain Christmas movie like I do... you'll know who it is right away. Check them out. I think you may like their stuff. It's DIFFERENT, but they've got a good sound.

my heart and texas...

Last week my great uncle died. He was pretty sick so we were prepared for it. It was still sad and emotional, but my parents came out from Texas for the weekend. (It was my mom's uncle and my dad did the funeral.) It was a nice surprise to see them. None of us had any idea when we would see each other...
The funeral part of the weekend was sad, but it was nice to re-connect with some family we hadn't seen in a long time.

Today was my first day back at work and I've been in an emotional rutt since I got back. Yesterday we spent the day as a family. It was the best part of the weekend. And I did great the entire day, until we drove away from the airport... leaving my parents waiting for their plane. That was the WORST FEELING EVER!!!! I HATE that my parents live in Texas. I HATE that Texas is so far away. I HATE that I'm not sure when I'm going to see them again. (This summer we hope... but still.) This makes me think... Why do I feel this way? J my sister said it perfect with, "Life is always better/easier when we're together." And that's IT!!! Life is better when we're together. This weekend we hung out, we loved on each other, and my favorite part was that we ministered together. (Each in our own way, but it was WONDERFUL!) We were TOGETHER.

Now I'm stuck with what now? I don't feel led to Texas. Yes I want to be closer to my parents, but I'm not in love with Texas. I know that where I'm at is where God wants me for right now. (He hasn't opened any doors elsewhere.) And I'm trying real hard to be happy here, but how do I deal with these feelings? Tonight as I was doing laundry, a part of me wanted to just pack up everything and move to Texas. WHY IS THIS???? If anyone has any answers please fill me in.

Yay for emotions of life and stuff.

On a much lighter note, for a pick me up, I got a pedicure today!!! I love those.

Oh and don't you just LOVE that picture. It makes me want waffles and Texas all at once.