aerosmith

And on a much lighter note, I went to DC last night and saw Aerosmith in concert. It was so much fun. I had never been to a rock concert before. At least not a non-Christian one. I had some spritual moments happen while I was there, so I'll try to post on that later... but can I just say..

For an older man... who could be my father by the way...
Steven Tyler and Joe Perry are two VERY good looking men.

If you haven't been to a concert like that, check it out... it's the world, so don't expect people to behave like they would in church, but if you can get past your expectations and just enjoy things... it's a lot of fun. Plus it makes for some great stories for when you get older. =-)

small group

I've been going to my small group for 1 year this week. And as I look back on that year, I see areas where I've grown in my relationship with Christ, but I see that some things that I struggled with last year at this time, I'm still struggling with. I hate that! I hate that some things you can just never seem to get/comprehend. It's like how Paul knew to do good but couldn't do it.. or however that verse goes.

Tonight we were reading in Ephesians chapter 2... and I've read this so many times, but tonight it was just what I needed. God's good like that! It talks about before Christ came into our lives, we are dead... NOTHING! It's hard for me to comprehend that... cause I've always been me, you know what I mean? But I've got to look at it in that apart from Christ I am nothing. I guess it's my pride that gets in the way of this...

So get this... here's this nothing person... this person who is full of sin and crap... and things of the world. Is following the ways of Satan... BUT GOD...

• But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so very much, that even while we were dead because of our sins, He gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. - it is by grace you have been saved. Ephesians 2:4-5 (a mix of NIV and NLT)

So I'm dead, but God is giving me life... I mean I am NOTHING... and He puts VALUE in ME!!!! What is he thinking? Seriously Lord... what are you thinking? I know I'm not to beat up myself, but I don't deserve this. And now on top of that, how is it that I struggle with spending time with God when He's done all this for me? It's like I'm saying thanks for doing this for me, but I'm not going to make time for Him. My friend put it like this tonight... "Think of it as... with all that Christ has done, this is the least that I can do." (I feel like I'm putting it wrong... not the least, but I can't think of how she put it)

And generally I use this excuse that I'm stubborn and don't want to do things out of duty. So that's been my struggle for the past few years... I don't like doing things out of duty, (I'm rebellious like that) so I just don't do these things.

I know that this probably makes no sense, but I see God at work in this area of my life. So now I'm stuck with this choice... do I keep not doing this because I'm stubborn and rebellious, or do I look at what God has done in my life and say... "This is the least I can do for Him"?!?!?!

It is out of His grace and love that I am here and without Him I would be nothing... DEAD. Spending time with God should come out of my response of what He is doing in my life.

I don't know if any of this makes sense, i'm not even sure that it all makes sense to me. I'll probably come back tomorrow and re-read this and have more to say, and if so I'll fix it.

SO I'm going to make some changes. I don't know exactly what they're going to be, but I see them coming. I'm going to be making time for God. Hey... with all that He's done for me, how could I not?

new blog

So this is my first time with this thing... and I'm not really sure how it works, but I've got this friend who blogs and loves it. And I love reading her blog along with some other random ones that I've found... so I say, why not?

I don't know if others will read, and honestly I really don't care... I just think it will be good for me to write about life.

So there's this weird guy that lives with his elderly mom in the apartment below me, and sometimes he's outside the entrance to our building drinking... and today was one of those days... except this time he had some friends. And he likes to talk to me... which I'm not so crazy about... so when I got out of my car, I pretended that I was checking my voice-mail on my cell phone so I wouldn't have to talk to him. I know that I was deceiving him, but he scares me, especially when he's been drinking. I know that the Bible says to love all people, but I don't have to encourage him to talk to me right? This is something I struggle with. I struggle with a lot of things, but that's part of growing up right? I hate how people pretend that they have it all together... when they don't. I don't have it all together.. and I'll be the first person to tell ya, cause hang out with me long enough and you'll see it.

That's all I've got for now. I'm sure more will come later, but for now, I'm tapping out!