MIA

So I know I've been MIA for a LONG time... I think it was 2008 when I wrote on this last. UGH! Oh how life changes.

I'm not even going to attempt a recap. Anyone that reads this pretty much knows me and knows what's going on in my life. That's another post for another time.

I do want to share what God has been doing in my life lately though. And hopefully this will get me back in the swing of blogging. :) No promises, but I'm going to try.

God has really confirmed that the career path that I am on is where He wants me and what He has made me to do. So that's super cool!

And then last night I had a freakout moment. I realized that I've come back to the same place I've been over and over in my relationship with God. I laid in bed crying and just asking God why I keep coming back here? What is it in me that is not learning what He's trying to teach me. And this morning I read this:

"I remember saying one summer, 'What I really need is a trip to the ocean.' So I went to the beach, but the ocean seemed to say, 'It is not in me!' The ocean did not do for me what I thought it would. Then I said, 'Perhaps the mountains will provide the rest I need.' I went to the mountains, and when I awoke the first morning, I gazed at the magnificant mountain I had longed to see. But the sight did not satisfy, and the mountain said, 'It is not in me!'
What I really needed was the deep ocean of God's love and the high mountains of HIS truth within me. His wisdom had depths and heights that neither the ocean nor the mountains could contain and taht could not be compared with jewels, god, or precious stones. Christ is wisdom and He is our deepest need. Our inner restlessness can only be pacified by the revelation of His eternal friendship and love for us."
Margaret Bottome

That is so me right now! I've been doing things on my own. And not finding what I'm looking for or feeling like I'm failing at everything. And that hit the nail on the head. I need to go back to the source. So while I'm not glad that I've failed, I see that it's better to be where I'm at and fail than to be somewhere else. God is preparing me for something and He's trying to break areas in my life where I'm not like Him and make me more like Him. It stinks sometimes, but it's encouraging because God is at work!

crazy stuff

So tomorrow is New Years Eve, and I haven't blogged in a while. Nothing new about that. =-)

But I wanted to share this website that I found tonight. My best friend is a photographer, and she showed me this photographer in Florida that she has been inspired from. Well anyways... I went on her blog, and she had a link to this Professional Retouching studio that retouches photos of Hollywood stars. Click Here to go to the website, and then click Portfolio. It's rather disturbing what they can do to people. Kelly Clarkson was my favorite. Crazy stuff I say... crazy stuff.

oh yeah...

If you look to the right of the page, you will see the ornament exchange that I signed up for.
Well...
Today I ordered my ornament from etsy to be sent to my exchange buddy.

I hope she likes it! I always try to get things that I would like if I were that person... and not knowing this person... well let's just say it was hard to decide.
But I'm really happy with what she's getting. =-)

I'll post pictures after I know that she's received it.

We shall see what she thinks!

And her name is Tara and this is her blog. Check it out!

the magic of oatmeal

The other night I went to walmart... Sidebar: I hate that place by the way. The prices are better than most grocery stores, but it's always so crowded and I leave there feeling tired and cranky. But they do usually have the most options for your basic stuff. While I was there I saw oatmeal. Now I haven't had oatmeal in years. We hardly ever ate it as kids. (I think my mom doesn't like it.) But when I lived in New Zealand, we ate it all the time. And I remember liking it a lot there. So when I saw it the other night, I had to get some. Plus it was cold and rainy outside and it made me want it even more. In New Zealand we would get plain oatmeal and flavor to taste, but seeing that the majority of my apartment is in boxes, I have no idea where those "flavors" would be. So I got the variety pack to see which ones I liked. So for the past several mornings, I've been enjoying a nice bowl of oatmeal. Strange how we get on kicks where we want certain foods huh? In New Zealand we would get plain oatmeal and flavor to taste, but seeing that the majority of my apartment is in boxes, I have no idea where those "flavors" would be. What's your breakfast of choice these days?

ps... I also got the pumkin spice flavored kind. I generally love most things pumpkin, but this stuff not so much. So if anyone wants some pumkin oatmeal to try let me know!
~cheers

Christmas in Texas?!?!?!

So tonight I was talking with a friend, and we were talking about me making the decision to come back after Thanksgiving or stay in Texas and come back after Christmas. This is something I've been praying about/thinking through a lot lately. And I keep going back and forth on it. Why am I so indecisive? I hate making decisions about things. I'm always the last to order in a restaurant, and don't ask me what I think about something because generally I have to analyze it to give you a good answer. Sometimes it's not that bad, but most of the time... yeah, it's that bad.

I leave for Texas in a week and a half, so this is something I need to decide soon. I'm just afraid of missing a job opportunity or something. Plus my friend told me that she thinks if I go, I won't want to come back... and I don't see that happening... but could she be right?!?!?! Oh so many things to consider.

Last week at church we were given this to consider when making a major (or minor) decision.
"What would someone in my position do, if they were completely confident that God was with them?"
This question has stuck with me all week. What would someone do if they were confident that God was with them? Why am I not confident that God is with me? Sometimes it's easy to see the "right" thing to do... but what about when things could go either way?
Oh why do I have to be so indecisive?!?!?!

Thanks for listening to my thought process. Please pray that God gives me direction the first part of this week. Yeah... That would be great!

craziness

Life gets crazy sometimes, and sometimes it's not crazy enough.

The past few days have been full of fun times with friends, catching up with "old" friends, going to new places, dinner and games with friends that I hadn't seen in a while, etc.
I had fully planned on this past weekend being rather chill, but it wasn't that way at all.

BUT... it made me thankful for my friends and so glad that God wants me here rather than in Texas.

Church Sunday morning was amazing and we were asked this question...
"What would someone in my situation do if they were absolutely confident that God was with them?"
We looked at the life of Joseph and how even with all that he went though, (being sold into slavery, being falsely accused by Pharaoh's wife and thrown into prison, etc) God was with him and blessed him. Click here and here for more info.

That's all that's going on in life right now.
~cheers

links

So I played around with my blog, trying to give it a new look. I like the width of this setting, but I would like a different background maybe. Still trying to figure things out, so any pointers would be greatly appreciated.
But because I've been playing around, my link boxes are gone. Sad day, but hopefully tomorrow I'll get on here and fix things. It was way past time I updated those things anyways.
Until then...

This weekend...

It's only Saturday night, and I feel so blessed already!

I made a kinda major decision yesterday (the kind that family may not understand but just have to trust that you're following God on it). I've had mixed reviews from the fam, but great responses from my friends who see and agree with my point of view. So now because of that, I get to go to Texas for Thanksgiving and Christmas... And then today my dad calls and asks me to come at Thanksgiving and stay through Christmas. So that's a fun possiblity. I've got to pray it through though. I don't want to be in Texas if someone calls and wants to interview me for a job. Plus I would miss the Christmas things I wanted to do with my friends here. BUT it's not like I have a job, and I could help my parents move into their new house... and when am I ever going to be able to spend time like this with them. So please pray that I make the best decision all around.

Last night I hung out with the girls. We had dinner then met up with my sister (and friends) who were in town for the night. My friends hadn't really met my sister, so that was fun. And it was cool for my friends here to meet some of my friends from d-ville. Then we came back to my place and we just hung out. It ended up being a sleepover. =-) And it's been forever since I've had one of those.
Then today I went to a financial seminar at my church. It lasted ALL DAY... but it was good. And one of my friends went with, so we laughed a lot.

Tonight some friends that I hadn't talked to in a long time called and we all met up for dinner and went and played games at their house. They have a soon to be one year old and he's so big!! It's weird to me that so many of my friends have had babies in the past year and a half. It kinda freaks me out!
But it was so good to catch up with them and laugh and crack jokes on each other. It was a blast.

Tomorrow it's off to church then home to chill for the rest of the day. I'm looking forward to that.

It's weekends like this that make me see how blessed I am to live where I live and have the friends that I have. I mean I miss my parents, but I'm an adult and need to be on my own right now. I'm so thankful for the way God shows us things. Fun!

So life gets busy, and I don't think anyone REALLY reads this blog, except for my mom. And that makes me not want to write... or gives me excuses to be lazy about it. BUT I just joined an ornament swap (more to come later) and *gasp* I'm afraid people will look at my blog. So I'm going to try and be better at this.

Still no job, but because of that, I'm planning on going to Texas for Thanksgiving and Christmas... which is wonderful considering that when I was laid off, I didn't think I would be able to go. So yay God for working things out. And I've had some great time with some friends lately. So another yay God. =-) Now I just need to see my family. And that will be here before I know it.

Daily Routines...

So this whole... not having a job thing... Not so much fun!

I mean, at first it was kinda nice to have some time off to rest and chill. But now it's BORING! So I've tried to get myself in a routine of sorts.

I'm not a morning person, so this has been incredibly important for me.

I won't go into details... but I have my coffee, do some job searching via internet. Spend some time in the word. Maybe watch a movie or an episode of friends if I'm in the mood.

Somedays I go out and apply at various places... Those are the WORST! I hate going place to place looking for jobs. NOT FUN!

But for the most part it's pretty boring.
I keep praying that the right job will come along. I'm trying to keep faith.
But it's hard when nothing is happening. Thank the Lord for Unemployment checks. (Yes... I am drawing unemployment. Not something I really wanted to do, but when I was laid off, everyone at my work told me the importance of doing this. It's something the company pays for when they lay off people. So CBL... I'm going to take all that I can get from you!!!)