MIA

So I know I've been MIA for a LONG time... I think it was 2008 when I wrote on this last. UGH! Oh how life changes.

I'm not even going to attempt a recap. Anyone that reads this pretty much knows me and knows what's going on in my life. That's another post for another time.

I do want to share what God has been doing in my life lately though. And hopefully this will get me back in the swing of blogging. :) No promises, but I'm going to try.

God has really confirmed that the career path that I am on is where He wants me and what He has made me to do. So that's super cool!

And then last night I had a freakout moment. I realized that I've come back to the same place I've been over and over in my relationship with God. I laid in bed crying and just asking God why I keep coming back here? What is it in me that is not learning what He's trying to teach me. And this morning I read this:

"I remember saying one summer, 'What I really need is a trip to the ocean.' So I went to the beach, but the ocean seemed to say, 'It is not in me!' The ocean did not do for me what I thought it would. Then I said, 'Perhaps the mountains will provide the rest I need.' I went to the mountains, and when I awoke the first morning, I gazed at the magnificant mountain I had longed to see. But the sight did not satisfy, and the mountain said, 'It is not in me!'
What I really needed was the deep ocean of God's love and the high mountains of HIS truth within me. His wisdom had depths and heights that neither the ocean nor the mountains could contain and taht could not be compared with jewels, god, or precious stones. Christ is wisdom and He is our deepest need. Our inner restlessness can only be pacified by the revelation of His eternal friendship and love for us."
Margaret Bottome

That is so me right now! I've been doing things on my own. And not finding what I'm looking for or feeling like I'm failing at everything. And that hit the nail on the head. I need to go back to the source. So while I'm not glad that I've failed, I see that it's better to be where I'm at and fail than to be somewhere else. God is preparing me for something and He's trying to break areas in my life where I'm not like Him and make me more like Him. It stinks sometimes, but it's encouraging because God is at work!