Trusting the Lord

Sometimes it is so hard for me to trust the Lord. Actually, as I'm writing this... I see that this is something I struggle with. I was going to say that it varies with different issues in life, but as I looked at the different issues in my life... I'm struggling to trust the Lord through all of them.

I've been reading a friend of a friend's blog... and it's been really encouraging, and just fun to read about other people's lives. (I know, a bit stalkerish, but facebook is now officially called stalkbook by my small group, so why stop with stalkbook?) Anyways... she is my age and happily married. No kids, but is a homemaker. That is my dream!!! I mean that is what I wanna be "when I grow up." It's so hard to wait on the Lord when you see so many people around you doing what you wanna be doing. I know that I'm not ready to be a wife and a mom. I see the things in my life that God is changing. Ways that HE is preparing me for that. But I keep wanting to ask God why?!?!?!? I wanna know when the man that HE has chosen for me is going to come into my life. I wanna know when I'm going to be ready for him. I wanna know what I'm doing in Lynchburg, when life looks so much better somewhere else. I see my purpose in life... but like one of my previous posts, I know theres more.

It's so hard to wait on God's timing. I don't know how to trust God better. I don't have that down. It's obviously something that God wants me to learn, cause it seems to be an issue in my life. I can trust that my parents are going to be ok in Texas. I can trust that my sister is going to be ok in D-ville. But when it comes to the areas of my life... I'm selfish. I want them in my time and my way. That's not right. That's not how God called us to live. But it's me right now. I've learned the importance of being real with people. I want all the important people in my life to be real with me, and I want to be able to be real with them. This is my place to be real. I suck at life sometimes. I suck at finances, and eating healthy (although this is something I'm currently changing), and spending time with God like I need to.

I want to desire God like I desire a husband. I want to desire spending time with God, like I desire spending time with my friends. There are a lot of things I want in life. I want to be able to know that no matter what happens in my life... God's timing is PERFECT.

Lord,
Help me to trust you and continue to grow me in this. I thank you for what you're doing in my life. I see things that you're changing. Things you're trying to change, but I don't wanna give them up. Thanks for not giving up on me. Thanks for always being there, for knowing my heart and seeing me as your child. I love you!

On a lighter note... I've started walking with my friends... and I used to HATE to exercise, walk, anything like that. So we started with the goal of one day a week. And in the first week, we've gone twice already. It's been great! I can't wait to go again. It's so much easier to do things like that when you have people to talk to.

AND.... My parents are coming into town this week... or at least my hometown... YAY!!!! I CAN"T WAIT to see them. My sister and I are going down Monday night and are spending the day with them Tuesday and coming back that night. They'll drive back to Texas on Thursday. It's going to be a crazy week... but it'll be good.